The Power of Asking the Right Questions: A Path to Meaningful Conversations with Children

Why Questions Matter

Children spend a significant portion of their day at school, navigating a world filled with social dynamics, challenges, and learning experiences. As parents or caregivers, the way we ask questions can profoundly impact how much they share and how connected they feel. Generic questions like “How was your day?” often elicit one-word answers, leaving us disconnected from their world.

In The Art of Talking with Children, Rebecca Rolland explains, “Good conversations are built on questions that invite reflection, exploration, and genuine curiosity.” When we frame our questions thoughtfully, we foster a deeper connection, promote emotional intelligence, and encourage self-expression.

Daniel Crawford’s Stop Asking “How Was Your Day?” echoes this sentiment, offering parents tools to transform daily interactions into meaningful exchanges. His approach emphasizes open-ended, specific questions that help children process their day while building trust and communication.

Asking the right questions has a special kind of power, one that I’ve recently come to appreciate more deeply through my oldest son. Despite being his teacher at school, the connection we’ve built at home through intentional conversations has been nothing short of transformative. It’s remarkable how much I discovered about him—things I had never observed in the classroom or even considered before.

These moments have reminded me how often we, as parents and educators, overlook the richness in our children’s thoughts and feelings simply because we don’t pause to ask or listen with curiosity. By asking meaningful questions, I’ve gained insights into his world, strengthened our bond, and uncovered layers of his personality that I might have otherwise missed.

Below, we explore examples of questions designed to delve into different aspects of school life, organized by categories.

Questions About Colleagues Relationships

Understanding how children interact with their peers can provide insight into their social well-being and friendships.

1. Who made you laugh the most today?
2. Did anyone do something kind for you? What was it?
3. Was there a moment you felt really proud of a friend today? Why?
4. Who did you spend the most time with at recess?
5. Was there a time you helped someone today? How did it feel?
6. Did anyone surprise you with something they said or did?
7. Who’s someone you’d like to get to know better? Why?
8. Were there any arguments or disagreements today? How were they resolved?
9. If you could pick one classmate to work with on every project, who would it be? Why?
10. What’s something you admire about your best friend?
11. Did anyone share something interesting about themselves?
12. If you could switch seats with someone for a day, who would it be? Why?
13. What’s the funniest thing someone said today?
14. Did you see someone being left out? How did it make you feel?
15. What’s something you’d like to do with your friends outside of school?

Questions About Teachers

Building a relationship with teachers can influence a child’s attitude toward learning.

1. What’s one thing your teacher said today that stuck with you?
2. If you could ask your teacher anything, what would it be?
3. Did your teacher tell any stories or jokes today?
4. What do you think your teacher’s favorite part of the day was?
5. Was there a time your teacher seemed really happy today?
6. If you had to describe your teacher to someone new, what would you say?
7. Did your teacher try a new activity or method today? How did it go?
8. What’s something you’ve learned about your teacher as a person?
9. If you were the teacher for a day, what would you do differently?
10. Did your teacher give you any special advice or encouragement?
11. What’s a question your teacher asked today that made you think?
12. How does your teacher make learning fun?
13. Was there a moment your teacher seemed frustrated or upset? Why do you think that was?
14. If you could have lunch with your teacher, what would you ask them?
15. What’s one way you think your teacher helps everyone feel included?

Questions About Class Challenges and Attention

Exploring how children perceive their academic environment can help identify areas where they may need support.

1. What was the most challenging part of today’s lessons?
2. Was there a moment you felt really proud of your work?
3. What’s something you’d like to get better at in class?
4. Did you find it hard to pay attention at any point? What distracted you?
5. What’s one thing you didn’t understand today?
6. Which subject felt the easiest? Why?
7. If you could change one thing about how today’s class was taught, what would it be?
8. Was there a time you felt bored? What do you think could make it more interesting?
9. What’s one thing you’re curious to learn more about?
10. Did you have a chance to ask any questions during class? What were they?
11. Which subject do you think you’re improving in the most?
12. What’s a topic you wish your class would spend more time on?
13. Was there a moment you felt really confident in your answers?
14. Did you notice if anyone else was struggling? How could you help them?
15. What’s something new you learned that you’d like to teach someone else?

Questions About Lunch

Lunchtime can be a rich source of social and sensory experiences.

1. What was your favorite thing you ate today?
2. Did you try anything new at lunch?
3. Who did you sit with during lunch?
4. What’s the funniest thing someone said at lunch?
5. Did you notice if anyone brought something interesting to eat?
6. If you could trade one part of your lunch, what would it be?
7. Did you play any games or talk about anything special after eating?
8. Was there a moment you felt really happy at lunch?
9. If you could design the perfect school lunch, what would it include?
10. What’s one thing you think the school could improve about lunchtime?
11. Did you help anyone at lunch today? How?
12. Did anyone share something about themselves during lunch?
13. Was there anything you didn’t like about your lunch?
14. What’s one thing you’d love to bring for snack next week?
15. Did you notice if anyone was eating alone? How did that make you feel?

Other Categories to Consider

Questions About Playground Activities

1. What was your favorite thing you did during recess?
2. Did you invent any new games today?
3. Was there a moment you felt really brave on the playground?
4. Who do you think had the most fun at recess?
5. What’s one thing you wish your playground had?

Questions About Personal Growth

1. Was there a moment you felt really proud of yourself today?
2. What’s something you learned about yourself?
3. Did you do anything today that was out of your comfort zone?
4. If today were a story, what would the title be?
5. What’s one way you think you’ve grown this week?

Conclusion

By asking the right questions, we create a safe space for children to share their experiences, feelings, and perspectives. As Rolland beautifully states in The Art of Talking with Children, “When we ask meaningful questions, we invite children to explore their own stories and connect with ours.”

Let’s make our conversations count by embracing curiosity and empathy, one thoughtful question at a time.