I Was Always a Picky Eater – Until I Realised It Was ARFID
I have been a picky eater for as long as I can remember. It all started when I was about six years old, around the time I started school. While other kids would excitedly share their lunches or try new foods at birthday parties, I would stick to the few things I felt comfortable eating. My plate had to look a certain way. Certain textures made me gag. If a meal didn’t feel “right,” I wouldn’t eat it at all.
As I grew older, my eating habits didn’t change. I was always very skinny and, unfortunately, this made me a target for bullying. Kids would call me names, mock my tiny frame, and ask why I never ate like everyone else. I didn’t have an answer. I just knew that food was difficult for me in a way that it wasn’t for others.
Now, at 40 years old, I still struggle. I can sum it up like this:
- I never try new foods—even when traveling to another country, I only eat what I know, what I call my “safe foods”.
- If a holiday lasts too long, I start to feel physically ill from food anxiety. My brain always blames the food I ate there.
- At home, I only cook in certain ways—any small change makes me uneasy.
- When eating out, I reject meals for different reasons:
- The meat is too thick.
- The sauce is unfamiliar.
- There are too many vegetables on the same plate.
And the list goes on…
For 40 years, I never stopped to think about why I eat this way. I simply accepted it as “just how I am.” But now, health issues have started to appear—problems directly linked to my lack of fat and variety in my diet. This forced me to finally ask myself the hard questions: Why do I eat this way? Why is food such a struggle?
Recently, I was diagnosed with Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID). This completely changed my perspective. I realized that my eating patterns weren’t just bad habits—they were a response to anxiety and a need for control. I started working with a therapist and a dietitian to improve my eating, but it is far from easy.
The biggest shock wasn’t just discovering ARFID—it was realizing how much anxiety was behind it all. I had never considered myself an anxious person, but therapy made me understand that my control over food was actually a way to manage deep-seated anxiety. It was overwhelming to face this truth after so many years.
I can’t help but wonder: What if I had understood this as a child? What if someone had noticed the signs and helped me earlier? The journey would have been so much easier.
As a teacher who loves and cares for children, I now see the early signs of ARFID in some of my students. With this article, I hope to help educate parents, teachers, and caregivers about this disorder so that more children can receive the support they need before it becomes a lifelong struggle. If we catch ARFID early, we can help children build a healthier relationship with food and avoid the struggles I have faced for decades.
What is ARFID?
Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) is an eating disorder where a child avoids or restricts food intake to the point that it affects their nutrition, growth, and daily life. Unlike picky eating, ARFID is persistent, extreme, and can lead to serious consequences.
How ARFID Differs from Normal Picky Eating
Most young children go through phases of picky eating, where they refuse certain foods or prefer only a few items. However, ARFID is different because:
✅ It does not improve with age (whereas picky eating usually fades).
✅ It causes nutritional deficiencies (e.g., lack of vitamins, minerals, weight loss).
✅ It can lead to anxiety or distress around food.
✅ It is not related to body image or fear of weight gain, unlike other eating disorders.
What Causes ARFID?
ARFID can develop due to various reasons, including:
1️⃣ Sensory Sensitivities
- Some children reject foods due to texture, smell, or taste.
- They might only eat bland, dry, or crunchy foods (e.g., crackers, toast).
- Foods that are mushy, mixed, or sticky (e.g., yogurt, mashed potatoes) may cause distress.
2️⃣ Fear of Choking, Vomiting, or Pain
- Some children develop ARFID after a negative experience, like choking or vomiting.
- They may refuse to eat anything that reminds them of the incident.
- This can include avoiding solid foods, chewy foods, or certain textures.
3️⃣ Low Appetite or Lack of Interest in Food
- Some children with ARFID don’t feel hunger cues and lack motivation to eat.
- They may eat very small portions and get full quickly.
4️⃣ Psychological Factors & Anxiety Disorders
- ARFID is often linked to generalized anxiety, OCD, or autism.
- Children may experience extreme stress over trying new foods or eating in front of others.
How Can a Parent Check if Their Child Has ARFID?
If you suspect your child has ARFID, ask yourself these key questions:
🔍 1. Does My Child Have an Extremely Limited Diet?
❌ Do they eat fewer than 10-15 foods and refuse to try new ones?
❌ Do they completely avoid entire food groups (e.g., no fruits or no proteins)?
❌ Will they only eat specific brands or food presentations (e.g., only thin chicken meat, only square-cut toast)?
🔍 2. Does My Child Have Sensory Reactions to Food?
❌ Do they gag, spit out, or cry when trying new foods?
❌ Do they complain about food textures, smells, or temperatures being “wrong”?
❌ Do they avoid foods that are sticky, mixed, soft, or crunchy?
🔍 3. Has My Child Stopped Growing Properly?
❌ Has their weight plateaued or dropped unexpectedly?
❌ Are they constantly tired or low on energy?
❌ Has their doctor expressed concern about nutritional deficiencies (iron, calcium, vitamins)?
🔍 4. Does My Child Have Anxiety or Fear About Eating?
❌ Do they refuse to eat at school, parties, or restaurants?
❌ Do they express fear of choking, vomiting, or feeling sick?
❌ Do they avoid eating with others because they fear being pressured to eat?
🔍 5. Has My Child’s Eating Struggles Lasted More Than 6 Months?
❌ Is their food avoidance getting worse over time?
❌ Have you tried common picky eating strategies, but nothing works?
What Should You Do If You Suspect ARFID?
✅ Step 1: Track Eating Patterns
- Keep a food diary for a week, noting:
- What foods they eat
- How much they eat
- Any reactions they have (e.g., gagging, meltdowns)
✅ Step 2: Talk to Your Pediatrician
- Share your observations and ask for a nutrition check (weight, growth, vitamins).
- If needed, get a referral to a pediatric dietitian or feeding therapist.
✅ Step 3: Avoid Food Battles
- Never force-feed or bribe your child to eat.
- Instead, offer safe foods while slowly introducing new ones.
✅ Step 4: Seek a Feeding Specialist
- If your child’s eating issues are severe, consider therapy focused on food exposure and anxiety reduction.
Final Thoughts: Recognising ARFID Early is Key
Unlike regular picky eating, ARFID is a serious disorder that affects a child’s health, growth, and daily life. If you recognise signs of ARFID in your child, early intervention can help them develop a healthier relationship with food.